Devil's Advocate

Yesterday I was sitting, happily sipping away on my evening tea when suddenly my phone rang. My friend on the other side sounded quite anxious. He had developed some sort of a bulging on his abdomen and needed to see a good surgeon.

We went to one, considered one of the best in my city. People there were apparently waiting for doctor saab. More than the patients, you had their concerned relatives. You also had an organism, rather organisms, all impeccably dressed, all loaded up with their bags. These organisms are also known as medical representatives. The scheduled time for saab to show up was 6, informed his assistant. We waited. 6.15. 6.30. 6.45. Finally saab decided to show up. Or better still, he took an avatar for the well being of us lesser mortals. The patients and their families (mostly from the villages) bowed (this reminded me of feudalism which still exists, but has metamorphosed).

As soon as saab entered his chamber, chaos ensued outside. Everyone wanted to get hold of saab first. Fair enough. But this reminded me of all those chaotic scenes wherein you have police too, ensuring orderliness. But somehow sanity prevailed and the assistant (no less than a superhero's sidekick) ensured some orderliness. Along with diagnosing, saab also had his chats going on with the medical reps.

I'm sure you too are familiar with such an experience. We see and feel it all too regularly. But it also raises some questions-

Why do we prefer to visit a doctor at his house rather than the hospital?
Does the sarkaari doctor saab diagnose better at home than hospital?
When the patient is paying him his fee, why doesn't he ensure an undivided and undiluted attention? Is talking to the medical rep so very important?
How is a poor person expected to pay 100 bucks as the consultation fee when the minimum wage rate in Rajasthan is 73 bucks?
How is he going to survive the aftershock of buying the supposedly superior patented medicines?
Is anybody listening?

All this simply points to one thing and one thing only. Our medical system is in rots and it has now become untreatable. Many of the doctors are a part of the nexus of some medical companies (with the goodies being delivered to them continuously). Even the private hospitals like Fortis, Apollo and all are not an answer, they're simply out of budget for most Indians. Surely we have tough times ahead.

Doctor, are you listening???

Superpowers???

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Posted on Saturday, June 13, 2009 | By Gautam | In civilization , superpower

Two incidents yesterday made me sit up and ponder over what is happening in India.

Incident 1: The crowd at Lord's erupted at the instance of "Jai Hey" when our national anthem was being sung. I felt immensely proud and almost skipped a heartbeat sitting in front of the tv (even felt that England may very well be on its way to become the 29th Indian state).
Incident 2: While listening to the radio, a person was asked to choose between Brian Lara and another celebrity. Her choice- the other celebrity. The grounds- Lara is black. This incident becomes all the more pertinent in these times given that we are charging people down under as racists.

The two incidents may not be connected to each other, but deep down inside they do pose questions for us, as the citizens, as to how we perceive us in these times, how do we handle the tag of an emerging superpower. One does feel great to be a citizen of an emerging superpower but I feel overtly overwhelmed with all the problems that we have brushed under the carpet. Here are some of the points that trouble me:

It feels good when you are considered as a superpower but its disgusting when the jingoistic rhetoric compares us with China. I'd rather be in a developing country than in a totalitarian, iron fisted, soul-less country like china. Surely we've misplaced our priorities.
Accept it, we are a racist people. Calling people black, our brothers from the north east as chinkis and the list goes on.
I hardly find ourselves a sensitive nation. Handicapped people are still a butt of many a jokes, there are no special provisions like ramps and all for these people (a pattern highly unbecoming of a superpower).
Reservation for SCs, STs and OBCs is fine but talk about giving 1/3rd reservation to women in parliament and our MPs (the male ones) threaten to commit suicide. Some way of displaying male chauvinism.
Instead of sensitising the male youth and curbing eve teasing, girls are advised to carry themselves in a 'certain manner' or simply jeans are banned in colleges for girls!!!
Civic sense is something we can borrow from countries like Japan. Indiscriminate honking on the roads, not paying for our water utility bills to name a few.

Surely we are a better nation than this. We can either aspire to be a nation to be looked up to or with our immensely indifferent attitude be looked down upon. Our hour has come. Its been more than 60 years since we had a tryst with the destiny. We just cannot continue to live in the shadow of being a great assimilating civilization. Something more needs to be done. And by the looks of it, we aren't equipped.....

Of Mini Skirts and Global Warming.....

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Posted on Friday, June 12, 2009 | By Gautam | In global warming

The skewed logic is back after a hiatus of one day! And contrary to what you may like to infer from the heading of the blog, its not quite like that. Now coming back to the topic. Me and my friend were having a chat when suddenly at the mention of mini skirts (:D) this idea struck me. It may seem frivolous to you, but read on.

Here's what I propose- mini skirts to combat global warming. It may be contrary to the belief of some people (who think such attire is responsible for the rise in global temprature!). More mini skirts and spaghetti tops equates to lesser global warming. Here's how-

They need lesser cloth to tailor. Lesser cloth= lesser cotton or other synthetic stuff, lesser material needed, lesser wastage.
Lesser dyes, other chemicals and all= eco-friendly.
Lesser weight= lesser use of fossil fuel needed transport= lesser emissions.
Smaller size= smaller packaging= lesser plastic and paper= lesser wastage (yet again, :)).

We all are doing our bit to save our planet. The bitter, oh sorry I meant the better half of the world too should chip in with their effort. And besides all the above stated advantages, mini skirts and spaghetti tops have their inherent advantages too. And we're quite familiar with them, aren't we!!!

Whose morality is it anyway.....

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Posted on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 | By Gautam | In morality

Statutory warning: The following piece of literature is not against parents and people who belong to the older generation.

Why did I just write the above warning? No, its not because of a legislation or a court order. You'll soon get to know.

How many of us are familiar with this scene- a kid being dragged to a satsang where he/she is subjected to confront a person babbling verses in language only the gods will understand (because its encrypted with a 1024 bit key!!!) and in a tone that hardly illicits devotion (rather it seems the pundit is going through the motions). I'm sure many have suffered (because we too have been at the recieving end). Watch this, don't watch that. Listen to this, don't listen that. Read this, don't read that. This is fine upto an extent (we don't want our youngsters watching, listening or reading all the wrong stuff, do we), but all this becomes too much after an extent. Its like our elders are puppeteering us. Why? In the name of morality. Juxtaposing their version of morality on our sensibilities is the favourite pastime in our nation.

Many of us have studied a dreaded and boring subject called moral science (or something like that) during our schooling. It taught us all that is good and morally correct and even politically correct in some cases. But try standing up for your rights in front of your teacher or parents or elders and surely more often than not, you'll be subjected to this- jaban ladata hai!!! Followed by some sort of punishment (corporal mostly). This is true even when we land up in colleges and post-grad courses.

Unclejis driving their vehicles in the wrong lane, spitting here and there, breaking rules blatantly would love to shower you with their wisdom(?) and more importantly their version of morality. Sanskaar is a buzz word these days for such people and by the looks of it, there is a dearth of it in youngsters. Sirs, would you please explain this to me- why do so many people from your generation get caught on charges of corruption and all? What does this signify? That your elders were pretty unable to discharge you with the right set of morals? Would it be right if I assume so?

Stop this moral onslaught on us. The best way a kid learns stuff is when he/she is exposed to information from all around and allowed to make an informed, unbiased view. If the morality that has been imparted to us is so lame as to keep us a developing nation in these 60 years, then I'm proud to wear this badge- MORALLY IMPAIRED.....

Kick the Butt!!!!! Oh really???

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Posted on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 | By Gautam | In

Attacking tobacco users (misusers for some), especially the smoking kind is in vogue these days. With students to a former health minister (who had nothing better to do than try to stub the butt) to doctors to everyone who's a someone seem to point their energies (i'd rather dub it as frustration) towards cigarettes. I have a fundamental problem rather problems with all this brouhaha going on. Here are some of them (numbered to make it easier to read):

1. If I have the right to vote, I also have the right to smoke. Ban cigarettes if its such a bane. But the government wouldn't because it gets them truck loads of money in the form of taxes.

2. The people who oppose smoking should give up on consuming sweetened carbonated water (that's Coke and Pepsi for you) because they use precious ground water (and you thought I'd start jumping on the pesticide rhetoric!).

3. All of them should also give up on meat because its a proven fact that maintaining livestock increases output of green house gases.

4. Give up on your fossil fuel guzzling vehicles and take to public transport. Even all those vehicles that are not Bharat Stage IV compliant should be thrown out of the roads. After all its the environment you see!!!

5. Stop all the hybrid and electric vehicles propaganda. Batteries still need lead.

6. Discard all those CFL lamps. They've mercury and its tough to dispose.

What? Is it so tough? What makes your actions right and mine wrong? Don't I have the liberty to do as I please? No, I don't smoke around people and make them passive smokers (see I'm a responsible citizen).

Kick the butt??? Forget it.....

My failed attempts at putting a Web Filter

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Posted on Sunday, June 07, 2009 | By Gautam | In

I have my interns at one of the biggest government office in Rajasthan and my profile is that of a information security consultant (sounds good, doesn't it). The office like most government offices is terrified of the broadband bills that materialise at the beginning of every month. No one seems to use the net, no one seems to download anything but somehow due to some conspiracy the bills seem to get fatter and fatter and fatter.

In comes the consultant (i.e. me) and he's given the mandate of getting things under control. But we won't spend any money, he's told. Fair enough. I'm a great fan of open-source anyways and Untangled Web Server is the most logical answer. It filters the access, its free, its fast and its just what the doctor ordered.What does an office need? Access to mails, some sites, download extensions like .doc, .xls, .pdf and their ilk. You don't need access to porn sites, YouTube, social networking websites, torrents, mp3's, avi's and stuff, chats.

The proposal is made, the iso image (google it if you're new to this term) of Untangle is downloaded (at my own cost, I might add!!!) and everything is good to go. But the office forgot one thing- you need a harware to run a software on. This one required a stripped off P-4, 512 mb ram, 40 gigs of space on the HDD and 2 network cards. A pretty cheap affair for an office with budgets in crores.

But the required resource couldn't be gathered. The filter could not be installed and the fat bills could not be trimmed. Alas, when will we get over our short-sightedness!!!!!

Formals or Jail-clothes???

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Posted on Saturday, June 06, 2009 | By Gautam | In

Scene 1: "What's with the uniform???", I asked my teacher in primary. No answer. I asked my dad the same seemingly nondescript question. "Discipline son, discipline". "How come?", to which I had no satisfactory answer till date. Ma'am, dad, I'm still waiting for my answer!!!

Scene 2: I decide to go in for an MBA (the first choice of driven unemployed people) and land in Symbi. "Guys Nat Sem!!! Turn up in your college formals.", and I find myself outside the auditorium in formals and sweating in the Pune heat.

What's all this brouhaha with formals? Will someone please explain? Do I become more disciplined? Do I become intellectually superior to people in casuals? Do I become more productive? Take the example of IBM vis-a-vis Google. IBM has always been viewed as a company with executives as cold as steel dressed in blue. Cut to the Google environment where one can come in casuals. Its attracting the best brains too. Does IBM or other such iron-clad companies get the best talent?

And yes, how can I forget the impeccably dressed in three piece suit bankers of the Wall Street who have caused the recent recession (alongwith the junk bond scam they created in the late eighties). Does one become morally upright in a uniform/casuals? Why are the police forces around the world corrupt then? Why are the representatives on Capitol Hill, Sansad (in India) all dressed in casuals corrupt?

I simply cannot understand and people simply don't have answers to this!!!

Where's my Chocosutra.....

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Posted on Friday, June 05, 2009 | By Gautam | In

First we had the Kamasutra on TV. Now we have the Aamsutra!!!!! No, I'm not going to go into the moral policing tizzy here. Its just that this ad of Slice had provoked me (not in that sense). It has been on TV for quite some time now and the actress in it, a certain Katrina Kaif displays with oomph why she is ruling the minds of most of the testosterone laden Indian men. Enough with the post mortem of this ad. Lets go back to why I sat down to write this blog. Am not pretty sure which segment of the market this ad targets (see I've read Kotler). But none the less, portraying a mango drink as a medium of foreplay is indeed revolutionary.

Extending this logic further along with my love for chocolates, lets have a sensuous ad for chocolates too. A Chocosutra. Sounds good? Well it should. Chocolates are known aphrodisiacs anyways. And we all know uses of chocolates other than just eating it, don't we!!! Whenever I hear words like temptations for a chocolate brand, it just leaves me pondering why don't we have a good ad for them. If mangos can have Miss Kaif vouching and cringing for them, chocolates surely pose a better proposition.

Any Indian ad agency listening??!!!

US goes Socialistic. Or is it.....

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Posted on Wednesday, June 03, 2009 | By Gautam | In

Breaking news: The US goes socialistic. Well its a stale news actually because their intent should have been clear for people right when Obama announced the $800 billion bailout package. But the latest news in the series i.e. GM going bankrupt (well we all knew GM was a sinking ship, didn't we) should seal the debate once and for all, that the US is showing underpinnings of a socialistic state. The country which long stood as the supporter for free trade and unabashedly supported Adam Smith's laissez faire has to go ahead and interfere in the free functioning of the markets. What now? The markets have given their verdict loud and clear- GM was functioning as a lethargic leviathan and its own actions led to its downfall.

Obama’s speeches and the terms and conditions that followed the bailout package once again ripped off the mask, behind which the US tries to conceal its protectionist nature. There was a time in the US just after the Second World War that many people (including Charlie Chaplin) had to appear before commissions on the charges of being communists. The US had for a long time lambasted the communists and touted the fall of the USSR as the victory of capitalism.

Maybe the US can take a leaf out of a developing country like India which for long has embraced the concept of a welfare state with the leeway for capitalists to create a hybrid- socialism. And this model too has been under attack from the capitalists and they’ve tried their bit to bring in their model of development. Maybe their propagation i.e. spend spend spend will stop now. Not a single bank in India has filed for bankruptcy. The reason? Strong regulation.

Maybe the US will now realise that being a socialist state is not such a bad thing. Maybe they’ll stop wasting. Maybe the US will follow the lean model (due pun intended). Or maybe I’m expecting too much from a spendthrift country where the CEOs fly to Washington in private jets to beg.

What a shame.....

Railway Ministry @ Kolkata???

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Posted on Monday, June 01, 2009 | By Gautam | In

A view which has been disturbing me lately has been that of Miss Mamta Bannerjee handling the all important Railway Ministry from Kolkata. When I last checked, the ministry was housed in New Delhi. Agreed ma'am that your love and care for the people of Kolkata has overwhelmed you and that your short term goal is to defeat the communists, but that does not change the facts. You took the oath of a cabinet minister and vowed to serve the people of India and not that of Kolkata only. If you find it so very tough to toggle between your priorities, better leave the burden. Many people will be more than happy to fill into your shoes. And as such, the ministry has been provided to Miss Bannerjee as a reward for helping the UPA. We've already seen how the Trinamool Congress has used Singur for its own advantage only to make the state of Gujarat the beneficiaries. Whiping out controversies and milching out problems from them and not providing solutions has long been the forte of Trinamool.

Don't just look at the people of West Bengal only ma'am, think about the rest of India too. Please don't make your term in the office seem a repeat of Nitish Kumar's.