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MBA is not for you if.....

Posted on Saturday, November 07, 2009 | By Gautam | In ,

MBA..... For the last few years it has become a glamorised degree, what with all those MBA grads minting money. It has come to a stage where it is considered a sort of a panacea, a cure for all societal ills, including getting a girlfriend!!! But is it as lucrative as it sounds? Perhaps for all those herders who run MBA collages(?) in a two room flat! But I'm not going to write about the industry it has become. No sir. This post will be aimed at all those who are aspiring to join a top notch b-school and land in a million dollar package. Well dreaming is good but living in an opium eaters paradise is a felony in itself (pun intended!!!). And since I've completed 75% of mine, I suppose I have the moral and intellectual right to comment on the rats ready to join the race. Here's a list of reasons why you should NOT join a B-school. Don't feel offended, don't take the post personally (even if you do, I'm not going to apologise. And don't even think about threatening me, my neighbour's dad is an SP). So here it goes. Read on.....

  1. You are poor with numbers. MBA is about number crunching, sirs. Don't worry if you aren't, the entrance exams will take care of it. You won't be able to clear the cut-off and the world will be saved!!!
  2. Your communication skills are poor to say the least. Sorry to break the bad news, but B -school is certainly not the place where one can improve per se. What makes you think that you did not work on it for the last 24 years of your existence and suddenly 2 years are going to change everything?!!
  3. A B-school is not a place to gain knowledge. Its where one learns the skills to apply what he/ she has known for so long.
  4. Common sense is not common in common people. MBA=Common sense. Henceforth the mango people are barred from all B-schools.
  5. If you are the toppers type who have only one goal in life- to study day and night and fuck the CGPA, I suggest get a life. MBA is not for those who can mug up entire dumps and puke it all over in the exam paper. Thou shalt be called CGPA chasers henceforth.
  6. There exists a glass ceiling for men. Accept the fact and move on. (If you are unable to comprehend the meaning of a glass ceiling, its pointless to read the rest of the post!!!).
  7. Make way for the pretty girls. A fair demographic mix of the sexes ensure a good batch. So all the male losers who did not make it, STOP WHINING.
  8. You must not be technologically challenged. If you find it tough to press a button on a computer because you're afraid the hard disk will come spinning off and behead you, its not true (the hard disk's got better things to do). And google what productivity tools like MS Office can do.
  9. All those people who have filthy rich parents and join a B-school in management quota to fool and screw around, better don't get your asses down. People like me and the CGPA chasers will make your life hell.
  10. You are a successfully unemployed graduate who feels that MBA is the shortest way to get a job, well its not. Its not a straight line joining two points. Period.
  11. All those who are committed, forget MBA. MBA kills all the romance (Snapshots from Hell).
  12. You are clueless as to how to use the net as a tool to generate (read ctrl+c, ctrl+v, plagiarism, et all) handsome reports and presentations.
  13. If you are the hard working guy. I cannot stress more on smart-work!!! (Gals, don't be offended but a hard working gal is a oxymoron).
  14. Girls, if you have run away from the sword of marriage looming on your head ready to strike any-time. You'll end up getting married anyways after two years. HAH. So please don't waste the seat. Use it judiciously.
  15. If you have the habit of getting your assignments done from your ass, err boyfriend. Start doing things on your own for a change.
  16. If you use unsuspecting testosterone laden men to get your work done!!!
  17. Stupid dumb men who would keep their assignments on the back-burner to honour the commitment of formatting the report of a beautiful damsel.
  18. If you don't booze. (#fail I'd say).
  19. If you cannot stop yourself from salivating at the mere sight of a girl because you never got the chance of studying in a co-ed!!!
  20. If you are already working and have no ambitions of growth in life (also the happily content types splurging their husband's salary). And don't give the peer pressure excuse. Grow up instead!!!
  21. What? You want me to write the 21st one too? Forget it. Get your own excuse!!!

Comments (8)

Plz mind ur point no. 13. Otherwise u have written it real well... Imprssd...

as for point no 17. I don't think testosterone loaded males are capable enough to do cosmetic changes for anyone ....

Point 14 - Dude, gals get f**ked anyways.. two years earlier or two years later, the only difference two years will make that they will experienced.

The testosterone loaded males are capable enough, but their capability lies somewhere "else". ;)

in that case the "else" should be mentioned correctly..

Good insight... Pretty funny... Makes me introspect my B-school dreams...

"Else" is left like this to allow people let their imaginations run wild.. :)

Blogging is abt venting ur emotions, good dat u've been able to do so. Though I might not be in agreement wid wat u've written but I'd say ,well, quite a different perspective. Thanx fr droppig by at my blog.