Posted on Sunday, November 22, 2009 | By Gautam | In civilization , privacy , superpower , technology
|What do you think:|
Tum nahi samjhogi Anjali, kuch kuch hota hai!!!
|What do you think:|
Posted on Saturday, November 14, 2009 | By Gautam | In democracy , freedom of expression , journalism , speech
Circa winter solstice of 2012 and the world is going to end. The Mayan calender says so. The Bible seems to indicate an Armageddon up the sleeves. Nostradamus warned us in advance. All the major religions have a hunch (so to say) that the end of the world is near (forgive my ignorance but why didn't Hindus have a doomsday prophecy?! Laggards.). Doomsday sayers are having a ball. And the world ends in a couple of years (too bad for all those dying virgin. My sympathies!). And yes, news channels never had it better. Aaj Tak, India TV (#fail), Star News and all those pseudo news channels who have nothing better to report lest the plunging hemline of Kareena being the cause of markets falling and how the planetary motion is going to screw my life. Every other disaster, major or minor alike, is being treated as a precursor to the END. And the ripped off scenes of 2012 is only adding to the titillation of masses gorging on these news(?) pieces.
|What do you think:|
MBA..... For the last few years it has become a glamorised degree, what with all those MBA grads minting money. It has come to a stage where it is considered a sort of a panacea, a cure for all societal ills, including getting a girlfriend!!! But is it as lucrative as it sounds? Perhaps for all those herders who run MBA collages(?) in a two room flat! But I'm not going to write about the industry it has become. No sir. This post will be aimed at all those who are aspiring to join a top notch b-school and land in a million dollar package. Well dreaming is good but living in an opium eaters paradise is a felony in itself (pun intended!!!). And since I've completed 75% of mine, I suppose I have the moral and intellectual right to comment on the rats ready to join the race. Here's a list of reasons why you should NOT join a B-school. Don't feel offended, don't take the post personally (even if you do, I'm not going to apologise. And don't even think about threatening me, my neighbour's dad is an SP). So here it goes. Read on.....
- You are poor with numbers. MBA is about number crunching, sirs. Don't worry if you aren't, the entrance exams will take care of it. You won't be able to clear the cut-off and the world will be saved!!!
- Your communication skills are poor to say the least. Sorry to break the bad news, but B -school is certainly not the place where one can improve per se. What makes you think that you did not work on it for the last 24 years of your existence and suddenly 2 years are going to change everything?!!
- A B-school is not a place to gain knowledge. Its where one learns the skills to apply what he/ she has known for so long.
- Common sense is not common in common people. MBA=Common sense. Henceforth the mango people are barred from all B-schools.
- If you are the toppers type who have only one goal in life- to study day and night and fuck the CGPA, I suggest get a life. MBA is not for those who can mug up entire dumps and puke it all over in the exam paper. Thou shalt be called CGPA chasers henceforth.
- There exists a glass ceiling for men. Accept the fact and move on. (If you are unable to comprehend the meaning of a glass ceiling, its pointless to read the rest of the post!!!).
- Make way for the pretty girls. A fair demographic mix of the sexes ensure a good batch. So all the male losers who did not make it, STOP WHINING.
- You must not be technologically challenged. If you find it tough to press a button on a computer because you're afraid the hard disk will come spinning off and behead you, its not true (the hard disk's got better things to do). And google what productivity tools like MS Office can do.
- All those people who have filthy rich parents and join a B-school in management quota to fool and screw around, better don't get your asses down. People like me and the CGPA chasers will make your life hell.
- You are a successfully unemployed graduate who feels that MBA is the shortest way to get a job, well its not. Its not a straight line joining two points. Period.
- All those who are committed, forget MBA. MBA kills all the romance (Snapshots from Hell).
- You are clueless as to how to use the net as a tool to generate (read ctrl+c, ctrl+v, plagiarism, et all) handsome reports and presentations.
- If you are the hard working guy. I cannot stress more on smart-work!!! (Gals, don't be offended but a hard working gal is a oxymoron).
- Girls, if you have run away from the sword of marriage looming on your head ready to strike any-time. You'll end up getting married anyways after two years. HAH. So please don't waste the seat. Use it judiciously.
- If you have the habit of getting your assignments done from your ass, err boyfriend. Start doing things on your own for a change.
- If you use unsuspecting testosterone laden men to get your work done!!!
- Stupid dumb men who would keep their assignments on the back-burner to honour the commitment of formatting the report of a beautiful damsel.
- If you don't booze. (#fail I'd say).
- If you cannot stop yourself from salivating at the mere sight of a girl because you never got the chance of studying in a co-ed!!!
- If you are already working and have no ambitions of growth in life (also the happily content types splurging their husband's salary). And don't give the peer pressure excuse. Grow up instead!!!
- What? You want me to write the 21st one too? Forget it. Get your own excuse!!!
|What do you think:|
Like millions of other kids, I too grew up in the post liberalization era. Cable TV was (and still is) a staple diet. Everything American was cool!!! And with all those movies playing out on Star Movies, the one's which showed that two computers could connect and communicate were watched with gaping sighs. And then it happened. Internet was ushered in my city in late 1998 in the form of those (in)famous cyber cafes which, time and again have been blamed for corrupting the minds of the impressionable youth (as if we ourselves don't want to get corrupted!!!).
But back then, the Internet was the cool thing. It was obscenely expensive. Surfing rates were as high as 100 bucks/hour. Surfing speeds, if one was lucky enough, during peak hours would peak out at 10 odd kbps!!! Some speed there compared to todays easily accessible 1 Mbps networks. And since we'd have limited financial resources at our disposal, it usually required 4 people to pool in money to enjoy an hour's worth of drive on the information highway!!!
But the major credit of attracting men towards the Internet was Pamela Anderson!!! Being the sex starved nation that we are, people would flock to the cafes to get a good look at her incredible anatomy. So you see, the Indian government should confer upon her some award for hooking an entire nation to a phenomenon. If Internet had a brand ambassador, Miss Anderson would be it. And its not as if this is true only for India. No sir. Its true for most of the world. The Internet's traffic, 80% of the precious bandwidth is still hogged by adult content (now don't expect me to put a link for that!!!). Also all those unknown hackers who have wrecked havoc should thank Miss Anderson as they would embed their malicious codes in her photographs and some unsuspecting lecherous prick would download it, just to find that their system is fucked!!!
Only later did we realize that apart from all this, we could actually use the Internet for some good use. Like ripping off material from the net to make reports. MBAs would be doomed had there been no net. My acknowledgements read till date- I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude towards Larry Page and Sergei Bin without whom this report wouldn't have materialized.
Here's for Pamela Anderson..... the Internet owes you much.
PS: I hope I satisfied some souls there!!!
|What do you think:|